I'm making plans with the past. I said I wanted to start new. What am I doing? Is this what I want? Probably not but I don't think I'll stop myself. Why would I bring myself back to a place filled with bad memories. No matter how many tears were cried they didn't wash away the feelings. They are still there, but why? It's familiar. It's happened before and I'm going to let it happen again. I can't let it happen again. I should be running away screaming for someone to save me, but I'm not. I'm walking towards the problem. Someone needs to grab me by the hand; help me walk away. I need you. I don't know who you are yet but you will come. I just hope you get here before I crawl back into the arms of the one who silently destroyed me.



Funny, It seems he was better off without me. I was never in the picture and things were going good and then I graced him with my presence and everything was set in disarray. Once I leave things start to clear up again.What makes things ironic is my life's pages were falling from it's binding and then he comes along and I was sown back together; he leaves and the stitches bust open, and I am leaking all over. Can I go back? Can I do that to him? Can I do that to myself? I'm not sure but I do know that if I stay things will fall back into place weather they are official or not.



Why, when I think of something new, your beautiful face pops into my head. I don't know you. But maybe what I'm thinking is I would like to get to know you. It still urks me that your perfectly stunning smile is etched into my brain as a possibility. Your not. I can't have you, someone else has you. I don't want to change that becasue that would be so Heather and I don't want to do anything Heather would do. I have a feeling that I might accidently slip up. Who knows, maybe things with you and her have died down. But with my luck, they haven't.