I love you. I hate you. I cant live without you.

I hate you.
I hate you more then ever.
It’s your fault it’s come to this.
It’s true I’m the one making the decision but it was your decision to make,
you made me choose this.
You chose for the both of us.
I hate you for being there when I was weak and needed someone to save me.
I hate you for helping me.
Why couldn’t you have just left me there, lifeless and bleeding?
I hate you for telling me everything was going to be okay.
You lied to me the moment those words left your lips.
You lied to me the moment you said I was safe with you;
that you would never hurt me.
Why didn’t you just tell me it would hurt this bad.
Surly you knew.
I hate you for everything you do.
You make false promises you can’t keep.
You lie only to help yourself.
Sometimes I wonder if you think of anyone but yourself.
I hate you because you made me believe that every moment
I was with you I was becoming stronger.
That’s not true.
I’m weaker because of you.
You wear me down to nothing.
I hate you because I trusted you.
I told you everything not because you tricked me
but because I truly trusted you.
You don’t deserve my trust.
I hate you because you know how I feel
and you choose to do nothing about it.
I hate you because I think you’re perfect.
How can you not be?
Every time I look at you my head runs rapid and I forget to breathe.
I hate you because the truth is I loved you.
I hate that I loved you.
Why can’t I just not love at all?
Why can’t I be smart enough to realize that it just can’t happen for me?
I’m so stupid.
I loved you.